Can you mediate when there is a protective order?

Mediation asks two people to talk. A protective order says one of them must not contact the other. People in the middle of a divorce or a custody case run into this collision all the time, and the answer they get is often vague. Here is what Utah law actually says, and what it does not.

If you are in danger, call 911. The Utah Domestic Violence Coalition's LINKLine is free, confidential, and open 24 hours: call or text 1-800-897-5465. Nothing in any mediation process asks you to sit with someone you are afraid of.

Last checked: October 19, 2026. This is general information, not legal advice. If any of this touches your case, talk with an attorney before you act.

The protective order itself is not mediated

Start with the clearest rule. Utah Code section 78B-7-609 is titled "Prohibition of court-ordered or court-referred mediation," and it says that in a cohabitant abuse case the court may not order the parties into mediation to resolve the issues in the petition. A related court rule exempts those cases from the court's alternative dispute resolution program entirely.

The reason is the one you would expect. Whether someone has been abused, and whether they need protection, is not a question to be bargained over between the two people involved. A judge decides it.

That is the only place the word "mediation" appears in Utah's protective order chapter.

The divorce requirement is a separate question

Many people with a protective order are also in a divorce or a custody case, and Utah requires at least one mediation session in a contested divorce. Our guide on the divorce mediation requirement explains the rule.

That requirement does not mention protective orders or domestic violence at all. What it says is that the court, the courts' dispute resolution director, or the mediator may excuse either party "for good cause." The courts' page on excusal gives one example of good cause: one or both parties "do not feel safe or able to fully express themselves in a mediation process."

So the honest summary is this. A protective order is a strong reason to be excused, and the courts clearly have it in mind, but no source we found makes the excusal automatic. Someone has to ask. There are three ways: a form to the courts' ADR office, a request to the assigned mediator, or a motion to the court. If one route says no, the court can still be asked. Our guide on asking the court to excuse or adapt divorce mediation covers how to ask and what safeguards to request if the session goes ahead.

If you are excused, the case moves on without mediation. If you are not excused and a session goes ahead, the mediator on the court's roster has at least six hours of training in domestic violence screening, and you or your attorney should raise the order with them before the session. The courts' pages do not describe what happens next. They say nothing about separate rooms, shuttle mediation, or how a no-contact term applies to attending a session. That silence is worth knowing about, because it means the arrangements depend on your attorney, the mediator, and the court, not on a written rule.

Can the order be changed to allow mediation?

This is the question people most want a yes to, and we cannot give one.

We looked at the statute, the court rules we could reach, the courts' self-help pages, and the published Utah appellate opinions on protective orders. None of them says a protective order can or should be modified to allow mediation. The closest provisions are narrow and are not about mediation. A cohabitant order's no-contact term can carry exceptions for parent-time. A criminal protective order can name a person to carry messages for family matters, and can allow limited contact to arrange visits with children. Both are decided by the court, in the order itself.

What that means in practice: if you hold an order and want to mediate, or you are subject to one and the other person invites you, the only safe path is through the court, by way of your attorney, before any contact happens. An invitation from the other party, from their lawyer, or from a mediator does not change what the order says. Contact that the order prohibits can mean arrest for the respondent even if the petitioner asked for it.

If a court does modify an order with mediation in mind, follow its terms exactly and bring a copy to the mediator.

What a private mediator will and will not do

Salt City Mediation offers voluntary mediation, outside the court process. Our policy when a protective order is in place is simple, and we would rather say it here than in a consult.

A session is contact. So when one of you holds a protective order, or a stalking injunction, against the other, we mediate only if the order itself, or a later order from the court, expressly allows the contact a session requires. We need a copy of that order before anything is booked, and the session follows its terms exactly. Courts can modify protective orders, and in a pending divorce the civil terms can be changed by stipulation or for good cause, so an exception written for mediation is possible. It has to come from the court, not from an invitation.

Even with that exception in hand, we screen for safety in the private conversations we hold with each person first. If either of you does not feel safe, the session does not happen, and that is not a failure. Sessions run by video from separate rooms, and either person can stop at any point.

Without a written exception, we will tell you that plainly in the free consult and point you to the court's process for being excused from divorce mediation, to legal aid, and to the resources at the bottom of this page. We can still help in two ways that do not involve contact between you. We can work with one person alone to prepare for a court process: sorting the issues, getting clear on what you need, and practicing saying it. And we can mediate matters that do not involve the protected person at all, such as a dispute with a business partner or a landlord, while the order stays exactly as it is.

David Ring III is not on the court's roster and is currently completing the additional training the court requires for its domestic roster. Nothing on this page changes once he is listed. A rostered mediator is bound by the same statute and would screen for the same thing.

If you are the one the order is against

Comply with it completely, including through friends, family, and social media, and including any mediation invitation that would put you in contact with the petitioner. Ask your attorney before you respond to one. The hearing on the order is the place to be heard. Our overview of protective orders in Utah explains the types, the deadlines, what an order can and cannot do, and how orders end.

Where to get help

• Emergency: 911.
• Utah Domestic Violence Coalition LINKLine, 24 hours, call or text: 1-800-897-5465.
• National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233, or text START to 88788.
• Divorce Mediation Help Line at the courts' ADR office: 1-800-620-6318.
• Legal help: Legal Aid Society of Salt Lake for Salt Lake County, Utah Legal Services, and the Timpanogos Legal Center hotline at 801-649-8895.

Common questions

Do I have to go to divorce mediation if I have a protective order?

Not necessarily. Utah's divorce mediation requirement can be excused for good cause by the court, the courts' ADR office, or the assigned mediator, and the courts' own page gives not feeling safe as an example. No source we found makes the excusal automatic, so you or your attorney need to ask. The motion and the ADR office form are on the courts' website.

Can a protective order be changed to allow mediation?

We found no Utah statute, court rule, court page, or published opinion that says so. Cohabitant orders can carry exceptions for parent-time, and criminal orders can name a go-between for family matters, but neither mentions mediation. If you want to mediate while an order is in place, ask the court through your attorney before anyone makes contact. Do not rely on an invitation from the other person or from a mediator.

Will Salt City Mediation mediate between two people when one has a protective order against the other?

Only if the order itself, or a later order from the court, expressly allows the contact that mediation requires, and we have a copy before anything is booked. A no-contact order is not ours to interpret around, and an invitation does not change it. Without that written exception, we work with one person alone on preparing for a court process, or mediate matters that do not involve the protected person.

David Ring III

Mediator and founder of Salt City Mediation LLC. Founder of EmpathEase, an app for practicing empathy and Nonviolent Communication. Completed Utah Dispute Resolution's 40-hour mediation training in 2026.

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