What to expect in Utah divorce mediation

If your spouse has filed an answer to your divorce petition, or you have filed one to theirs, mediation is the next step. Most people have never been in a mediation before and picture something between a courtroom and a counseling session. It is neither. Here is what actually happens.

Last checked: October 19, 2026. This is general information, not legal advice. For your own case, talk with a family law attorney.

How you get there

When one spouse files for divorce and the other files an answer that disagrees, the case is contested. Utah then refers all the remaining contested issues to mediation, and the case does not move forward to trial until at least one session has happened or the court has excused you. Temporary orders, such as who stays in the house for now, can still be decided by the court in the meantime.

The timelines are short. Generally you pick a mediator within 15 days and begin within 45. Our guide on Utah's divorce mediation requirement covers the rule itself and the exemptions.

Choosing and paying the mediator

This part surprises people. The court does not assign a mediator or pay for one. You and your spouse choose someone from the court's roster of qualified mediators and pay their rate, split equally unless the two of you agree otherwise or the court orders otherwise. Rates vary. Ask when you call.

If you cannot afford it, do not skip the session. The court's ADR office has an income survey that can lead to financial help or a pro bono mediator. The divorce mediation help line can send you the roster and explain the survey.

Salt City Mediation is not on the roster. David Ring III is currently completing the additional training the court requires for its domestic roster, and until he is listed a session with us does not satisfy this step. We can help you prepare for it, and we can mediate the voluntary questions that sit outside it, but the required session needs a rostered mediator.

Before the session

Most mediators will talk with each of you, or your attorneys, before the joint session. They will ask what the issues are, whether there are safety concerns, and whether you want to be in the same room.

You may attend with or without an attorney. Many people bring one. A mediator cannot give legal advice, so if you have questions about what the law would likely do with your property or your children, an attorney is the person to ask, before the session rather than during it. Our guide on preparing for divorce mediation has a checklist.

In the room, or rooms

The mediator opens by explaining their role: neutral, not a judge, not either side's advocate, and not there to decide anything. They explain confidentiality. Then each of you says what matters most to you, uninterrupted.

From there, the mediator helps the two of you build a list of what needs deciding. In a divorce that usually includes some of: the house, retirement accounts and other property, debts, child custody and parent-time, child support, and alimony. You work through the list one item at a time.

Expect the mediator to move between you. Private conversations, called caucuses, are normal and useful. The mediator may spend twenty minutes with one of you and then twenty with the other, carrying proposals back and forth. If you asked for separate rooms, the whole session may run this way.

Sessions often run two to four hours. Some divorces settle in one. Others take two or three sessions, with homework in between, such as getting a house appraised.

What comes out of it

If you agree on everything, the mediator or your attorneys write it up. In a divorce that document is usually a stipulation that goes to the court, which then enters it as part of the decree. If children are involved, the court reviews the parenting terms.

If you agree on some things and not others, the agreed items are written up and the rest goes back to the judge. Partial agreements are a real win. They shorten the trial and lower the cost.

If you agree on nothing, you have still met the requirement after one session, and the case proceeds.

What was said in mediation is confidential and is not evidence. That is what lets people make offers in the room that they would never make in a courtroom.

What mediation will not do

It will not tell you who is right. It will not force your spouse to agree. It will not replace legal advice, and it is not therapy. It is a structured, private chance to settle as much as the two of you can, before a stranger settles it for you.

If you have questions about what we can and cannot help with alongside your court case, book a free 15-minute consult with Salt City Mediation.

Common questions

Who picks the mediator in a Utah divorce?

The parties do. The court does not assign one. You choose someone from the court's roster of qualified mediators, and the court's help line can send you a copy of the list. If you cannot agree on a mediator, your attorneys usually propose names, and the court can step in.

Do we have to be in the same room for divorce mediation?

No. Many divorce mediations run with each spouse in a separate room, or on separate video connections, with the mediator moving between them. If there is a safety concern, say so when you book, and ask the court about an exemption if mediation is not appropriate at all.

What happens if we do not agree in mediation?

The case goes back to the court and a judge decides the issues you could not settle. Partial agreements still count. If you settled property but not parenting, the court only has to decide parenting. What was said in mediation stays confidential and is not evidence in the case.

David Ring III

Mediator and founder of Salt City Mediation LLC. Founder of EmpathEase, an app for practicing empathy and Nonviolent Communication. Completed Utah Dispute Resolution's 40-hour mediation training in 2026.

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